The Price of Fame
by King in Yellow
Summary: With great power comes great responsibility and fame. With great fame comes more media attention than a person may desire. Three separate stories on the theme: Team Go cartoons on television, Team Go action figures & fanfiction. Best Enemies universe.
1. Go Team Go

Boilerplate Disclaimer: Disney owns the characters from the Kim Possible series. All registered trade names property of their owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Visit my profile for a fast overview of the Best Enemies universe.

NoDrogs created the twins, whose origins have been altered in my stories.

**Go Team Go**

Attempts to keep the premier of the Go Team Go cartoon series a secret from Shego failed, the Middleton conspirators neglected to bring her mother into the plot. Shego's efforts to pretend she didn't know about the show met with greater success. By the day of the first episode to air, however, her secret – that she knew their secret – threatened to unravel.

Her suspicious nature would have been aroused at dinner with Bonnie in from California, Felix and Justine (ostensibly to see Bonnie, although neither was particularly friendly with her), six-year old Hana, and Kim's brothers all around the table. The whole sitch screamed something was going on, but Shego acted as if the totally abnormal were perfectly normal.

After dinner Ron nudged Hana, who delivered her line, "May the twins and I be excused to watch television?"

Hana managed to pull off the line, had either Kasy or Sheki sounded that polite Kim and Shego would have checked them for mind control chips the way they checked the kids over for ticks after a trip to the woods.

Shego felt a certain amount of pride that even Kasy managed to say nothing, although her body language screamed that she had a secret she wanted to tell. The three girls left the table.

A minute later Tim checked his watch, "Shall we go see what the kids are watching?" he asked Jim.

Shego considered banging her head against the table and screaming, "You people couldn't be any more obvious if you tried!"

"Help me clear the table and load the dishwasher?" Kim invited as other guests slipped away from the table.

"Shouldn't I play hostess?" Shego asked innocently.

"Ron can take care of that," Kim assured her. "You can tell me about your day." Shego smiled at another out-of-character line. Kim had as much interest in life at the law firm as she had in a root canal without anesthesia.

Shego glanced at the kitchen clock as they worked. Kim would want to finish the job just in time for the start of the program. Shego started by working fast to make Kim worry they would be done too quickly. As it actually got closer to time for the show to start Shego slowed down, forcing Kim to frantically quicken her own pace.

"Why don't we go into the living room?" Kim asked.

"We can't load that casserole dish in the dishwasher. I'd better scrub it out by hand."

"I'll do it later. Let's go into the living room."

"If you put it off the food will just dry out. I'd better—"

Shego thought Kim would explode as she grabbed the green woman's arm and began pulling, "Living room, now."

Everyone applauded as Kim and Shego walked into the living room. A seat of honor on the couch remained open for Shego, with room beside her for Kim. Bonnie had the easy chair and Kasy sat on the floor at her feet, with Smaug draped over her shoulders like a stole. Sheki patted the spot by her on the couch, "Sit here, Eemah."

"What's going on?" Shego asked.

"Shhh," Bonnie hissed. "Sit down and watch."

A few seconds later the commercial on the screen ended and the bouncy Go Team Go theme started. Shego almost told everyone she had known for weeks about the program, but they all looked so anxious to see her surprised that she didn't let them know of her foreknowledge.

The show completely enthralled Kasy and Sheki, who kept telling Shego what a good job she was doing on the program – confusing the real woman with her cartoon counterpart. The twins and Hana gasped appropriately at the villains and cheered wildly as Team Go triumphed over the Gang of Evil.

Wild applause broke out in the living room as the show ended. The twins and Hana jumped around to the closing music as Bonnie warned, "Watch the closing credits." The girls ignored Bonnie, and an excited Smaug tried to climb on top of Kasy's head.

"Ow!" Kasy screamed as sharp little claws racked her scalp. Justine tried to keep Kasy calm as Kim untangled the little monster from Kasy's hair.

Not fully understanding why they had been told to watch the credits Ron followed Bonnie's orders. "Whoa! Timothy North voiced Mego! I should have known," Ron chuckled.

"Hush," Bonnie warned as her name appeared on the screen as the voice of Shego, bringing a combination of howls of laughter and a gasp of surprise.

Amid the general chaos and conversation after the program Kim noticed Shego seemed unusually subdued, but wasn't sure why.

To Ron's disappointment Bonnie returned to work almost immediately. He brought Hana over the next week for the second show. The girls demonstrated the same high level of enthusiasm as they had the first week. Kim watched Shego closely. The green woman seemed unhappy as she watched. Kim could have been mistaken the first week, but clearly something bothered Shego about the show.

For two days before the third show Kasy and Sheki talked about little else than how they were looking forward to watching the program. Shego's unhappiness appeared to border on depression and Kim wondered what was going on. When the younger woman asked what was wrong Shego lied and denied any problems.

Part way through the show during the third week Shego left the living room and didn't come back until it ended.

"Where were you?" Kim asked.

"Bathroom. Need a detailed report?"

Kim thought Shego lied about the disappearance, but decided to let it pass.

On the fourth week the twins once again eagerly awaited the new episode of Go Team Go. "Mommy, where's Eemah?" Kasy demanded. "I want to sit with her during the show."

"I don't know; it's like she vanished."

Kim noticed Smaug walking by and picked him up. She held him up at face level, his little snout inches from her nose, "Find Shego, be a good little dragon and find Shego." She had no idea if the creature had a clue what she said, but he wagged his tail. And Kim had no idea if that meant, 'I'll find her, put me down', or 'You're annoying me, put me down or I'll bite your nose'. Uncertain which interpretation to ascribe to the tail Kim put him down and with a clicking of claws on hard floor the little beast began to run around, sniffing the air. "Follow Smaug," Kim told the girls. Even if Smaug was simply hunting for a mouse it provided Kim with a way to distract the twins.

Kim tried to figure out what could be troubling Shego. Her thoughts were interrupted after a couple minutes as Sheki called, "Smaug is trying to get into the closet in the library."

"Open the door," her mommy called.

"It won't open!"

The redhead assumed the little fellow had located a mouse, there was no reason anyone would be in the closet. On the other hand, Kim didn't think there was a lock on the old door and went in to investigate why the girls couldn't open it.

The door lacked a lock and Kim pulled on it. The door resisted, but Kim pulled harder and began to force it open. When Shego let go of the knob on the other side of the door, however, the resistance ended and Kim fell down.

"Uh, thanks for getting me out of there," Shego lied. "The door got stuck."

"You're welcome," Kim responded in a voice that said she didn't believe the pale woman. Kim linked arms with Shego, "We're just in time to watch Go Team Go."

During the program the girls kept their eyes glued to the program. Shego's eyes never left her daughters. And Kim's eyes never left Shego.

As the show ended Kasy turned to her mothers, "Wasn't that great?"

"Yes," Kim agreed.

Shego gave a noncommittal grunt.

"Okay, what's going on with you and the cartoon?" Kim demanded.

Shego addressed Kim and the girls.

"It's a bad show. They got everything wrong," Shego complained. "I was never on Team Go when Connie was there. And she calls herself Chemo, not Go-Girl. And she isn't a cousin. And she wasn't in the tree house with us. And she—"

"But she's going to marry Uncle Ed isn't she?"

"Yes," Kim assured Sheki.

"And we gets to be flower girls?" Kasy demanded.

"Yes, and you two will be flower girls," Shego promised. "But you know how important it is not to tell anyone you know who Team Go really is. Someone might want to hurt one of us."

The girls nodded solemnly. This lesson had been drilled in thoroughly from the day they began talking.

"And Connie isn't a skinny little girl. I swear; they make Go-Girl look anorexic on that cartoon. And Uncle Matt doesn't have a deep voice like that, and he was never the leader – Uncle Henry was. You know Uncle Matt can't grow taller. Drak-- … Someone thought he might learn how to grow big with some bio-feedback training but he never tried hard enough. And my boobs aren't that big—"

"They did that so more adolescent boys would watch," Ron explained.

Shego turned to the blond man, "So, are they trying to get the pedophile audience with the way they show Connie?"

"What's a pet-a-file?" Sheki asked.

"Never mind," Kim blushed. "You're taking it too seriously -- it's just a cartoon," she told her partner.

"Those are just some of the reasons I don't like it," Shego insisted. "And the Gang of Evil broke up long before Chemo joined Team Go. And the Alchemist is Connie's dad. He would never fight her—"

Kasy interrupted "Is he dead?"

"No dear," Kim explained. "He'll be there at the wedding. That's part of keeping a secret identity. When 'Chemo' joined Team Go she said that her father, the Alchemist, had died. That way no one will realize Chemo, who said her father died, is really Connie – whose father is still alive."

"But he was a bad man?"

"Yes, he was a bad man. But he changed. Anyone can change. He isn't a bad man any more and he makes the potions Chemo uses to help Team Go."

"I still won't talk with him at the wedding!" Kasy declared flatly.

Kim saw a look cross Shego's face that told her this had nothing to do with the size of the green woman's boobs on the cartoon or making Connie look like a fifteen year old famine victim. "Ron, would you take the girls and read them a story? I want to talk with Shego alone for just a minute."

"Okay, KP, got your back."

"Thanks Ron, I can always count on you."

After they Ron and the girls left Kim turned to Shego, "Okay, what is this really about?"

"I'm going to sue Matt," Shego muttered. "I'm sure I was a minor when I signed that contract giving him rights to Team Go images for publicity and commercial purposes."

"Please, something's been eating you for weeks, and it has nothing to do with the excuses you just listed. What's the real problem?"

Shego remained silent for a minute, and Kim waited. Finally Shego sighed, "Do you hear the way they cheer for Team Go and applaud when the bad guys get beaten?"

Kim nodded her head yes.

"I was one of the bad guys. I quit Team Go. I was a villain—"

"Mercenary," Kim corrected her.

"You don't need to sugar-coat it with euphemisms for me. I was evil. Period. What are the girls going to think about me when they learn that? They're going to ask why I left Team Go. You heard Kasy just now?"

Kim nodded her head yes.

"Now do you know why I hate that show? They're going to start asking questions I don't want to answer."

"The questions will come someday, you know that."

"They don't have to come now!"

"Will it ever get any easier to deal with what happened, or will they just think we hid the truth from them?"

"You're saying tell them now?" Shego demanded.

Kim sighed, "There will never be a good time. But better now, be honest with them."

"You'll be there with me?"

"Of course."

"What if they hate me, Kim?"

"They won't hate you."

Shego wished she felt that confident. She gave her partner a half smile, "Tell me, Kim, would you let your name be put on a cartoon show?"

Kim thought for minute, "Honestly? After seeing what they did to Team Go there is no way in the world I'd let them put my life in a cartoon. Besides, you and me together? Adult Swim on Cartoon Network maybe. You know there's no way some network like the Disney Channel would want to handle the real story."

"Subtext? Subtle hints that adults could catch while the kiddies and literally minded remained clueless?"

"Nah, I'm pretty sure the Disney Channel doesn't have adult viewers."


	2. The Awful Truth, Part I

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners.

Ffordesoon suggested this plot direction, offered encouragement, and provided the idea for the third projected arc of the story - Kim and Shego discover fanfiction about them. (He may write an episode of the Go Team Go cartoon). And I stole a line from aedan cameron.

**The Awful Truth, Part I**

Kim told Shego they'd explain the pale woman's past to the girls the next evening. Kim feared Shego would go into denial if they put it off another week. Shego appeared nervous as they cleaned the kitchen after supper.

"Are you sure we need to tell them?" she asked Kim.

"Look, eventually someone is going to tell them about you - you're not exactly in a witness protection program. Some brat on the playground will taunt them with it. Do you want it to be a surprise?"

"And I say, let them beat the brat up for defamation of character!"

"Shego," Kim scolded, "we do not encourage that sort of behavior."

"By 'we' I hope you mean you and Ron."

Kim glared at the pale woman.

"Sorry Princess, you're right. They need to be told, and by me. But, are they old enough to understand?"

Kim shrugged, "I'm not sure I understand what happened to you. I want to hear this too."

"Great," Shego muttered, "it's really not exciting. There's no big trauma to earn sympathy. There's a smart-ass girl who demanded things her way." They finished cleaning in silence and went in to finish the program Ron and the twins had on.

The pale woman hit the power button on the remote and turned off the set. Everyone turned to look at her. "Ron, I need to have a serious talk with the twins… Would you stay while we have it?"

"Serious talk? I don't know. This isn't about female stuff, is it?"

"No Ron," the green woman assured him. "Kim… I think it's time the girls knew about my past. I'm not sure how they're going to take it. I… I want you to be there if it doesn't go well. Please, you're practically family."

Eemah's words made the twins nervous and Kasy took Sheki's hand.

Kim appreciated Ron's presence also. Maybe it should be put off for awhile longer – make sure that the girls were old enough to understand that who Shego was now mattered more than her earlier life.

There was a moment's uncomfortable silence before Shego spoke. Despite rehearsing her lines all day in her head Shego didn't feel ready, but she took a deep breath and began, "Girls, you probably need to know the real reason I don't like Go Team Go… It isn't really about Connie not being a cousin or Mego's voice…"

She paused, uncertain how to continue. The girls stared at her. She wished she could hold their attention this well when she wanted them to clean their room.

"The real reason I don't like the show is that it scares me. It scares me because you'll want to know why I left Team Go."

The twins looked slightly puzzled, "You left to be with Mommy didn't you?" Kasy asked.

Shego smiled, and wished the truth was that simple.

"No, I quit Team Go because…" She paused, without a good way to continue. "For a long time Eemah wasn't a nice person. Eemah was a criminal."

The twins stared at her, waiting for the punch line. Shego's words made as much sense as if she had announced, "I think I'll grow another head tomorrow."

"Why did you really leave?" Sheki demanded.

"I was really a bad person. That's the truth."

Both girls looked a little scared, and Kim worried Kasy might cry. "That was years ago, before you two were born," Kim told her daughters.

The two looked at their mommy, "Eemah was really bad?"

Kim fell silent. "Yes, I was," Shego told them.

"Why?" Sheki wanted to know.

Shego stared off into space for a minute instead of answering directly. "Hell if I know," she finally said. "It made perfect sense to me at the time. Now, sitting here talking with you two I don't know how I could have been that stupid.  
"There were a lot of things happening with me then. I felt like Uncle Henry ran my life and I wanted to hurt him – and leaving Team Go hurt him. Being evil hurt him I felt like Grandpa George and Grandma Susan always took his side—"

"Did they?" Sheki wanted to know.

Shego shrugged, "Probably not. But that was how I felt. I didn't have anyone to talk to. But I shouldn't blame anyone else. The way I lived was my choice. I thought it was stupid to help people and not get anything for it – I felt like people owed me. And I was smart, I thought, and strong. I felt like if I could take something it was okay to take it. Laws were made by weak people to keep the strong people from doing what they wanted. I liked doing whatever I wanted to do and not worrying about other people."

"You liked living like that?" Ron asked.

"I thought so… at least I did at first. For awhile it seemed fun and exciting, almost like a game." Shego sighed, "But it was lonely. And once you're on the path it's hard to turn around. I couldn't exactly ask for do-overs and start again. I was wanted in eleven countries. It looked like a downward spiral to prison was my future."

Kim put an arm around Shego and hugged her softly. The greenish woman smiled, "I think that was one of the reasons I hated your mommy so much at first," she told the girls. "She was the only person strong enough to capture me. So she was my only competition, I could test my skills against her." She looked back at Ron, "I ended up liking it when you and Kim broke in to bust up one of Drakken's plots. It gave me something to do besides listen to him yammer."

Sheki waited a few seconds before asking, "Were you really bad?"

"Yes, really bad. Worse that the bad people on the show."

The twins sat in stunned silence, not knowing what to say.

Kasy sought reassurance, "But you aren't bad any more?"

"No," Shego smiled, "the love of a good woman saved me."

"You mean Mommy?" Sheki asked.

Shego smiled and nodded.

"What happened?" the dark-haired twin wanted to know.

The pale woman laughed, "Once upon a time, in a far away country named Middleton, there lived a beautiful Princess with bright red hair. One day the princess entered the enchanted forest and saw an ugly frog. And the princess took pity on the lowly amphibian and gave the frog a kiss. When she kissed the frog it turned into a handsome lawyer. 'Come live with me,' said the princess to the former frog, 'and we shall have the two most beautiful daughters in the world'."

Kasy and Sheki giggled.

"Not exactly the way I remember it," Kim told her daughters. "The way I remember the story is that the frog plied the princess with a magic love potion—"

"Magic love potion?" Shego interrupted.

"Magic love potion," Kim repeated. "A wondrous brew of coffee, chocolate, and milk—"

"Remember that," Shego warned the girls, "if a boy offers you a mocha come tell Mommy or me and we'll beat him up."

"Shego! That is not the point of the story. And will you let me finish?"

"If I must," the green woman grinned.

"Anyway, the frog plied the princess with the love potion, and then, when the frog kissed the princess, the princess realized what she had been missing her entire life. And you two tadpoles were the result," she said hugging Kasy and Sheki.

"My story was better," Shego told her partner. "The Princess and the Frog is a classic fairy tale. The frog and the love potion? I don't remember that one."

"Well, mine was creative," Kim sniffed. She turned to the girls, "Which version was better?"

"Oh, come on, Princess! You'd ask the girls to choose between us?"

"Not choose between us. I'm just asking which story they like better."

Shego rolled her eyes, then suddenly produced two small chocolate bars seemingly out of nowhere. "Okay girls, whose story was better?" she asked slowly waving the candy in front of them.

"Yours!" Kasy said, grabbing for the candy.

Sheki looked at Mommy, clearly torn and thinking she should say Mommy's story was better so her feelings wouldn't be hurt.

"Take the candy," Kim sighed, "her story was better." Then looking at Shego she said accusingly, "You cheated!"

"Moi?" Shego asked in mock surprise. "I repeat your question to these wonderful little judges and present them with a gift to thank them for the judgment they are about to render with the wisdom of Solomon and you honestly think that would sway their decision making?"

"It wasn't a gift – it was a bribe!"

"Gift!"

"Bribe!"

Ron cleared his throat, "Uh, KP? Shego? Why do I feel like the only adult in the room? I'm not comfortable with that."

"Sorry Ron," Kim apologized.

"Yeah, Stoppable," Shego agreed. "Take the girls out for ice cream. Kim and I will take the argument up to our room and settle it like adults… Consenting adults." She gave Kim a wink.

"Don't hurry back," Kim giggled.

"Come on, kids," Ron sighed. "Seeing your parents fighting is only one thing you don't need to know about. Let's stop and get Hana and then get our ice cream."

"Yea, Hana!" Sheki cheered.

"Yea, ice cream," Kasy echoed. The red-haired twin ran off to find a pair of shoes, but Sheki lingered for a minute. "Were you really bad?" she asked her Eemah.

"Yes," Shego admitted. "I was really bad."

"Do you promise to be better now?"

"I promise to be better now. I won't do anything that will take me away from my girls."

"Okay…" Sheki said slowly. Then another thought entered her head. "Was Mommy ever bad?"

Kim heard the question, and saw an evil grin cross the green woman's face. "Shego! You tell her the truth."

Shego sighed, "If I must… Sheki, I have to tell you, the awful truth is that your Mommy was so nice other kids laughed at her and called her a goody-two shoes."

"Shego!"

"Seriously, they made fun of her. Aunt Bonnie especially. And then I came along and rescued her or she'd be standing on a street corner somewhere looking for little old ladies to help them cross the street." Kim looked outraged, and Shego continued in a soothing tone. "Really, your mommy has always been a wonderful person."

"And she really made you stop being a bad person?"

"She really did," Shego assured her.

Sheki threw her arms around Kim, "I love you Mommy."

"I love you too," Kim assured her daughter, picking her up and giving her a big kiss.

"And you won't let Eemah be bad again?"

"I promise." Kim put her daughter down and she scrambled off to get ready for ice cream. The two women watched their dark-haired daughter leave. Then Kim leaned over and gently nipped Shego's ear. "Bribing the kids? You're still evil. You need to be punished."

"Oooh, sounds sexy," Shego smirked. "Punish me."

"Definitely," Kim replied.

"Promises, promises…"

"I think I'll go with Ron and the girls to get ice cream."

"How does that…" Shego looked confused. "Hey, wait! You wouldn't be that evil."

"No," Kim admitted. "I'm the one so nice the other kids made fun of me. I live to make other people happy. And as soon as the girls leave I'll make you very happy."

They waited in the living room and waved to Ron and the girls as they left.

Shego sighed as they heard the door close, "Were we really right to tell them now?"

"Yes, they needed to know the truth. And it's a lot better coming from us than anyone else. Besides, it teaches them a valuable lesson. Anyone can do something bad, but it doesn't make them a bad person."

"Kim, get real. I didn't spill a can of soda in the living room after I was told not to drink soda in the living room. I was evil."

"And that's over. You'll probably get a pardon way before your probation is over."

"I was evil… Will the girls still love me?"

"You honestly think anything could change that? God, Shego, those two worship you."

"They loved me yesterday. Yesterday they didn't know I was a bad person."

"You're not a bad person… At least not any more. Now, are we going to our room to settle the bribery argument or not?"

Shego thought for a minute. "If you don't mind, can we just stay on the couch and cuddle? Can you just keep telling me everything is going to be all right until I believe you?"

"That will be fine," Kim told her, hugging the frightened woman a little tighter.


	3. 69 Points of Articulation

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The Disney Corp. owns all the various characters from the Kim Possible series.

**69 Points of Articulation**

The original Team Go action figures had not been available outside the Go City area. After Shego left the team Hego insisted all unsold copies of the Shego figure be withdrawn from sale. Mego, who handled the small marketing end of Team Go (he would have always been happy to expand into areas like endorsements -- but Hego had always insisted it 'wasn't heroic'), stored the case and a half of unsold Shego figures in her old room at Go Tower.

After the Go Team Go cartoon series began Mego began to surreptitiously sell an occasional Shego action figure on eBay at collector's prices. When Shego discovered the remaining figures she confiscated them for herself. When Mego protested she asked him where the money went from the sale of earlier figures. He demanded to know what she meant. While she would never reach Wade's hacking skills the young man had taught her well and Mego dropped the subject.

Kasy and Sheki were delighted to receive an original and, caring nothing for their collectors' value, ripped them out of their plastic cases.

"Did you really have a whip, Eemah?" Kasy asked as she looked at the accessories that came with the action figure.

"I carried a whip sometimes. I was never very good with it. Uncle Henry finally let me stop carrying it because of how many times I hit him with it."

"How many times did you hit him by accident?" Kim asked.

Shego grinned. "I don't think I ever hit him with it by _accident_."

The second version of the Team Go action figures were based on the Go Team Go cartoon series. Even though the real Shego seldom worked with Team Go the Shego figurine (referred to by the woman herself as, 'big boob Shego') sold more than twice as many as any other figure in the set -- and it didn't even come with a whip.

The Kim Possible action figures were never authorized, which did not stop their creation. It did, however, effectively block their sale. The lawsuit brought on her behalf by the firm of Armstrong, Bennett, and Dashwood meant the fine for their sale exceeded any potential profits and kept them off the shelves. Since the trafficking in unauthorized figures crossed international boundaries Global Justice rounded up the Kim Possible figures in Europe also.

Will Du gave 'Jake' Jacobi, the oldest GJ field agent, the job of shredding the Kim Possible action figures. Jake suffered from terminal insubordination and had been busted back to agent on each of the three occasions he made team leader. The old agent probably held Will in even greater disdain than the young man held Jake.

On the other hand, Kim and Jake respected each other. As he watched case after case of the figures ground by industrial metal teeth he wondered if Kim would like some for herself.

"That's the end of them," Jake told the men at the waste plant as another case was ground to plastic chips. "Give me the form to fill out saying they were all destroyed."

"Uh, there's still one box, the one you're sitting on."

"This box? Not action figures. Give me the forms, this job is over."

"But, that's the last case of--"

"It's my lunch box, damn it! Do you want me to sign the damn form or you want to eat it for your lunch?"

Despite his age Jake still sounded threatening. He signed the form indicating all the figurines had been destroyed, tucked his 'lunch box' under his arm, and headed back to GJ headquarters.

Kim bent over the keyboard, doing the paperwork she found the worst part of her job, when a "Psssst," sounded at the opening of her cubicle. "Don't look this way. These were all destroyed this morning, but one box fell off the truck. You don't know where it came from."

"No idea at all," Kim replied, not looking in his direction but recognizing the cigarette coarsened voice.

Exact details of Kim's sexual orientation remained a bit hazy around Global Justice. Her own opinion seemed to be what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes shouldn't be anyone else's concern. She never felt comfortable with anyone going into intimate details in the break room or on a mission. But she didn't try to hide or deny anything. Many people knew of her relationship with Shego, but those above her in the chain of command judged her by her effective job performance.

Everyone recognized her as someone who would go far in the organization. She might set a record in moving from a field agent's cubicle to the small office of a team leader.

Betty Director's management style helped. She took the position that as long as employee's relationships weren't illegal, and didn't interfere with job performance, they were of no concern to GJ. She set the standard with her own life. Most agents had no idea if, at the end of the day, she went home to a man, woman, convent, the entire cast of Grey's Anatomy, or slept in a coffin with soil from her home country.

The day after the box of Kim Possible action figures mysteriously 'appeared' in her cubicle Kim brought a Shego action figure from home. Shego stood proudly atop Kim's computer monitor, while the Kim figure -- which came with a hair dryer grappling hook accessory -- was posed as if climbing the side of the monitor.

Kim could have been quite happy with the little tableau, a reminder of earlier days. On the wall of the cubicle was a framed publicity still of a young Shego, from her days on Team Go, inscribed, "Keep on fighting! Shego." A photo on the desk showed Shego, in her graduation robes on finishing law school, holding a small red-haired girl in one arm and a dark haired girl in the other, and an ever-changing assortment of crayon drawings on the back wall of the cubicle completed the domestic details of Kim's 'Home, Sweet, Cube'.

Or rather, it would have completed the domestic details of the cubicle if people could have left well enough alone. Kim spent a lot of time on missions, perhaps more than any other field agent at Global Justice, because of her amazing success rate. She would have gladly spent even more time on missions, but the nagging pile of paperwork to be completed at the end of each mission chained her at her desk longer than she wanted.

Agent cubicles were open to the world. And when Kim went on missions a person or persons unknown began the practice of posing the Kim and Shego action figures in compromising positions…

And usually had the wrong one on top.

Mostly Kim found it annoying. Sometimes she found a position amusing. And, on occasion, a position proved downright dangerous.

"Okay," Shego panted one evening, "did you buy a copy of the Joy of Sex: Two Women's edition? A couple of the things you've come up with the last few months have been borderline kinky. Not that I'm complaining."

"Well, something like that," Kim blushed.

Shego laughed, "I've got no idea how you can blush at a time like this…"

Two weeks later, however, Shego raised an eyebrow at a suggestion, "I'm pretty sure that isn't even physically possible. Where did you come up with this?"

"Well, someone keeps putting the action figures of me and you that I have on my desk into these--"

"Wait a minute, you're taking ideas from action figures?"

"They look like fun!"

"Kim, their joints can go backwards! There is no way in hell I can do what you're asking!"

"You're out of shape!"

"You're asking the impossible."

"Am not! I can do it, I can do anything."

Kim attempted to demonstrate how the position could be accomplished.

Shego stared in a combination of amazement and lust, "God, Kim, I wish I could bend like that."

Apparently Kim did also. She stopped attempting to have life imitate art after pulled muscles kept her off Global Justice field assignments for a week and a half. After that Kim tried Post-its™ inscribed with the words, 'Do not touch', by the Kim and Shego figures. If anything it made the problem worse. Frequently upon returning to her cubicle from lunch, coffee, or even a bathroom break the figures were moved.

Kim began to grow slightly paranoid on the subject. She might pretend to take a coffee break, only to sneak back and try to catch someone in the act. She left her camera phone on the desk, 'accidentally' open and watched the image from the security of a restroom stall hoping for a picture of the perpetrator. Removing the Post-its™ improved matters only slightly.

Everyone at Global Justice assumed the classification of suspect. Will Du might be jealous of her, Latisha Jackson certainly was. Jake possessed a twisted sense of humor, agent Haskel was pure evil in Kim's mind… Kim started to worry her fears would affect her job. She was starting to look at all the other agents with suspicion.

Kim's promotion to Team Leader came just in time. Once she had the privacy of her own office, no matter how small, she had the option of closing and locking her door while gone. But Kim made one last ditch effort to discover the perpetrator before she moved up and out the cubicle.

It began with a phone call to Wade, describing the problem.

He pondered the problem for a minute, "And what exactly would you like me to do?"

"You have that formula for Professor Dementor's adhesive around - the one that stuck me and Bonnie together?"

"Yeah…"

"Could you do some sort of aerosol mist? I want one that I can spray on - so fine that it wouldn't even be noticeable at a casual glance. I'll spray the Shego--"

"Why not the Kim figure… Hey, I thought those were all supposed to be destroyed or something."

"Emphasis on the 'or something'. Anyway, since the Shego figures are in production I don't have to worry about losing it."

"How long do you need the adhesive to remain sticky?"

"Would two or three days be possible? It's not like whoever is doing this hits my desk several times a day."

Wade sighed; it seemed like a silly request. But now that he and Joss were seeing each other again he wanted to remain on Kim's good side.

Kim waited until no one was in the area, and carefully sprayed the Shego figure. With any luck she'd find out in the next few hours who was posing the figures.

The shift itself proved disappointing. The Shego figure remained standing atop the monitor, untouched by human hands, at the end of the day.

Kim went home. She assumed that if her quarry took the bait he, or she, would probably take the figure and try for a way to dissolve the adhesive. Kim wished she'd asked for a tracking chip. On the other hand, if Wade's adhesive was anywhere near as good as promised, the figure violator would need Kim's help in order to get Shego off his/her hands.

During dinner Kim's cell phone went off.

"The Go Team Go theme as a ring tone?" Shego laughed.

"And what's wrong with that?" Kim asked as she left the table.

"I think it's cool, Mommy," Sheki insisted.

"You could put off saving the world until after supper," Shego called.

Kim checked caller ID before answering. She wondered why Will Du chose to call her at home. But it wasn't Will Du on the other end of the conversation. The voice of a very angry Monique came over the phone, "Okay Kim, I want to know why Shego is stuck to my hands!"


	4. The Awful Truth, Part II

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**The Awful Truth, Part II**

Monique did not speak to Kim for a nearly a week after the 'incident'. Kim knew Monique could not have posed the action figures on earlier occasions. The black woman's story, that she had come in to see Will and merely stopped at Kim's cubicle and picked up the figure out of curiosity, made sense. And Mon had always been someone Kim trusted.

Because it ruined the romantic evening Will had planned with Monique he refused to speak with Kim for more than a week. At least something good came out of the 'incident'.

And various versions of the story traveled through headquarters, departing further and further from the truth at each retelling. When it reached the ears of Betty Director it had almost reached the status of urban legend and she called Kim in for a coherent account.

Kim reflected that the scolding she received from Betty Director might have been the worst part of the sticky Shego incident. Then she corrected that in her mind. Having to explain why she had sprayed the adhesive on the Shego figure had been the worst.

Betty took the position that, while Kim was correct in asserting other people should keep their hands off her desk, the public nature of the cubicle invited people to look in, and the action figures attracted attention. Monique had simply responded with natural curiosity.

"Yeah, but what about the fact someone keeps posing the figures in… ah… compromising positions?"

"You've never done that yourself?"

"Well, maybe a couple times."

"More importantly, can you first understand how someone else might want to do the same thing?"

Kim bit her tongue and didn't admit she had done it with Hego and Mego figures on Agent Markov's desk.

"Second, the sad fact is that your reaction, like the 'don't touch' notes, only encouraged the joker or jokers unknown."

Kim acknowledged that with a nod of her head.

"And third, I hope you realize you excite jealousy around here. You got promoted fast and will be the youngest person to get an office - even a small one. Maybe it's someone's way of handling their jealousy… Do you really think this is more than a joke?"

"No," Kim grudgingly admitted.

"Okay then, laugh and ignore it."

"I'll try. At least in a week I'll have an office and can keep it locked when I'm not in."

"Good. I'd hate to see this get blown out of proportion… Any further out of proportion."

Two weeks later, with Kim ensconced in her new office, Betty Director called her in for an update. "Are you over your concern about your action figures now?"

Kim hesitated before answering. "Honestly? I'm not sure. I'm almost hoping someone tries something."

Betty gave Kim a look of disgust. "After the problems you tell me it caused I'm now hearing you're _hoping_ someone poses the damn things?"

The redhead shifted uncomfortably, but decided to stay with the truth. "Well, I had Wade build a miniature digital camera. It's designed to look like a paperweight and has a little motion detector built in. If anyone touches the Shego figure I'll have a record of it… I've even left my door unlocked."

Dr. Director shook her head sadly, "Be careful what you wish for. And if your hunt for the poser interferes with your work in any way, and I mean_ any_ way, I'll have Will draft a directive about acceptable work space decorations. Is that clear?"

Kim sighed and shook her head yes.

"And you will _not_ try and catch anyone with flypaper again?"

"I promise I won't use that again."

Betty dismissed Kim with a, "Congratulations on the promotion. You deserved it."

The head of GJ's warning proved true the next week. Kim returned to her office to find the figures posed in a not terribly original, but definitely provocative, fashion. Kim excitedly plugged one end of a USB cord into her computer, and a second into what appeared to be a rock on her desk.

The tightly focused motion detector had not taken a picture of the person who entered the office. It contained a dark picture from when a cloth or paper was placed over it, and a picture with no one in it after the cover was removed.

Kim allowed for the possibility that the innocuous looking paperweight had been covered by accident and repositioned it and adjusted the motion detector. The next week the figures had been moved again, with the perp Kim had begun to mentally label the Phantom Poser using the same technique.

Kim called Wade for a more sophisticated camera and motion detector.

The failure of his next devices stung Wade's pride, and he began to take a more active role in suggesting methods to discover the Poser's identity.

Kim began locking her door when away from the office, which did not seem to stop the Poser. That Global Justice had employees who knew how to pick locks seemed more unusual to Kim than it should have.

Wade designed a new lock for Kim's door. When the first failed to stop the Poser Kim almost broke down and asked Shego to locate her old locksmith teacher, the Pickman.

Kim maintained her faith in Wade, and didn't allow the game of wits to interfere with her missions. Wade would figure out a way to catch the Poser eventually. She almost felt a little guilty about taking him away from other work -- but he was now more dedicated to the unmasking than Kim.

One evening a lithe figure clad in green and black, whose head was concealed beneath a black hood, carefully crawled through the narrow space between the bottom of the floor above and the suspended ceiling. The thin aluminum frames holding the suspended ceiling were too flimsy to support a person's weight, but the water pipes and electrical conduits offered a wealth of handholds.

Nearing the space over Kim's office the intruder took out a communication device, "Leader One to Team Gremlin. Can you scan the area over Kim's office for bugs?"

"This is Gremlin Two," a voice crackled back. Finding a frequency outside the standard bandwidth Global Justice monitored provided for poor reception. "I'm starting the scan." Fifty seconds later the report came back, "All clear, Leader One. Someone is getting mighty sloppy if the crawl space isn't being monitored."

Leader One almost pulled off the hood. It was a bit surprising and rather disappointing that Kim hadn't rigged anything above her office yet

_"Of course not everyone has the strength to crawl along the pipes,"_ the intruder thought, moving into position above Kim's office. Once in position, hooks on heavy straps were placed on the overhead pipes, allowing the intruder to twist over and face the top of the false ceiling. "Gremlin Two, am in position over office. Please scan this ceiling panel to see if there is monitoring it."

"Negative on that, Leader One."

Careful removal of the ceiling panel, so that no dust or debris fell into the room, allowed the gremlin free access for a complete scan of the office below.

"I've got two motion detectors and a weight detector tied in with two cameras," the tech support reported.

"Locations?"

"Motion detectors focused on doorway and the Shego figure on desk. Kim figure is on a pressure pad, if it is lifted up or another figure is placed on top of it the camera is triggered."

"This is Gremlin One," a second voice broke in. "Perfect night to use the wide spectrum flare. Put on your safety goggles, drop it down, and you've got forty-five seconds where the film for any picture is hopelessly fogged."

"I'll save that for another night," Leader One told them. "Are the motion and weight detectors on the building's circuits or batteries?"

"Motion detectors on building's power, pressure pad on battery."

"Piece of cake," Gremlin One chuckled, "nothing since the last raid. We've got Wade whipped and he knows it."

"No way José! Hold on, Leader One," Gremlin Two ordered, "the idiot thinks Wade threw in the towel. I'm going to monitor a wider spectrum band and see if I get anything."

"You're wasting time!" the second complained.

"Remember who we're dealing with!"

"I'll wait," Leader One confirmed.

Some thirty seconds later Gremlin One let out a whistle, "Man alive, I think that's an electric eye grid on the floor, but he's way outside normal ranges."

"Will we need to abort mission for more analysis?" Leader One asked.

"Just got the floor covered, go down on the desk and you'll be fine."

"I'm betting his next effort will attempt to pick up our monitoring devices," Gremlin One suggested.

"Nice save," Two said ironically, "not even going to mention you screwed up on your call about Wade giving up?"

Leader one pulled out a small remote and threw a switch, cutting off the current to Kim's office, "I'll use your jammer to get around the pressure pad."

"Give me a sec," Gremlin Two requested. "Her tech support could have a battery back-up on those motion sensors." A few seconds later a triumphant voice crackled over the transponder, "I was right, you can't sell Wade short he put in two new things this time."

"Use the EMP disruptor," Gremlin One suggested.

"Too risky," Leader One reported. "I don't want to damage infrastructure."

"It's safe!"

"This isn't your building, and you told me you hadn't tested range completely. What are my options?"

"You can try his wide spectrum flare," number Two reported. "But you can ignore the door sensor and simply disable the cameras. Then you can position the figures, reconnect the wires, and no picture has been taken."

"I'll go with that," Leader One responded. "Let's leave the flare for another night – and can the EMP disruptor be designed with a tight focus?"

"Don't see how," Gremlin Two said off the top of his head.

Gremlin One sounded excited, "But if we could figure out how to do it… Think of the potential uses!"

"We could try shielding it with—"

"Will you two try and create your next weapon later? Right now I want to know where the wires are for the camera."

Gremlin Two gave directions; then predicted that Wade would probably employ a wireless connection to the camera next time.

Mission accomplished, Leader One scrambled up the line to the crawl space, put the ceiling panel back in place and cautiously crawled back to the opening above an unassigned office on the same floor.

A few minutes later Leader One stood in front of Kim's door, carefully examining each edge. A small piece of tape over the door and frame served to warn Kim if the door had been opened. Leader One smiled and broke the tape. Breaking the tape meant Kim would assume the security measures on the door had been breached and keep her attention, and Wade's, focused there for a while longer. A straight pin was used to put a couple scratches on the lock, a second clue pointing towards the lock being picked on the door.

_"Deception and misdirection,"_ Leader One thought with a smile. _ "Keep them focused on the door and the crawl space remains unmonitored."_

Twenty minutes later, after a change from the green and black, Dr. Betty Director left headquarters.

"You're working late tonight," the woman at the door told her.

She didn't need to make the comment, the head of Global Justice obviously knew she was working late, but the agent on security detail made the remark to be friendly. Betty smiled, "Security project."

"Did agent Du miss something a couple years ago?"

"Security is everyone's concern," the director reminded her. "But I want my own assessment of conditions. Someone else might find something I've missed."

As she walked across the parking lot she wondered how much of her conversation with the agent at the security desk had been truth and how much rationalization. She had already found several holes in Will Du's earlier report and took more pride in the discovery than she should. But Will Du remained an overly precise prig and finding any flaw in his report gave her pleasure.

And there was the equal thrill in challenging GJ's top field agent to a game of wits. Betty Director hated being chained to her desk and enjoyed the thrill of beating Kim, even in a small way. She hoped Kim would rule Will out as a suspect and bring him in on the hunt for the action figure bandit – beating them both in head to head action would be a rare pleasure.

She felt bad about using Destruction Inc. for the security assessment without paying them. But Jim and Tim seemed to get as much thrill from the challenge as she did, tweaking the nose of their sister and testing themselves against Wade.

Their idea of a focused EMP disruptor sounded promising. She made a mental note to follow up with them on their progress as she turned the key in the ignition and drove out of the Global Justice parking lot.


	5. It Must Be True, It's on the Internet

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Ffordesoon sweet-talked me into this story arc. The little weasel promised to help with the writing - and given the wonderful bits he's added to my stories in some reviews I believed him. But when I tried to drop this chapter in his lap he ran like a yellow dog. I sent him a rough draft and expect to get his opinion 48 hours after posting this.

All writers mentioned gave me permission to include them. Heck, most of them volunteered for the abuse when I asked, "Anyone want a mention in a Best Enemies story?" They only have themselves to blame.

**It Must be True, It's on the Internet**

"How was your day?" Kim asked Ron as she passed him the broccoli.

"Awful," he answered as he served himself and put some on Sheki's plate. "I'm starting to wish I'd paid a more attention in high school." He paused and stared at the twins, "And let that be a lesson to you two."

"Going to break down some day and tell us why you're going for a degree in organic chem?" Shego asked as she watched to make certain Kasy actually ate her broccoli rather than slipping it off her plate to the small creature waiting optimistically by the young girl's chair.

Ron arched an eyebrow and gave an evil laugh, "Bawahahaha! Wouldn't you like to know?"

Shego glanced over to Kim, and shrugged. "He's been impossible since he got engaged to Bonnie, hasn't he?"

Kim sighed, "What do you mean, since he got engaged to Bonnie? How was your day?"

Shego hesitated, then admitted, "The boss chewed me out at work. I had, like, zero billable hours in the afternoon."

"What happened?" Ron asked.

"It's Kim's fault. She distracted me."

"Hey, wait a minute," Kim protested. "I didn't do anything to distract you."

Shego turned to Ron, "So, back in high school, was she always convinced she was perfect?"

"Oh yeah, had to be best at everything."

"No wonder she and Bonnie never got along. So, tell me, she ever break any rules? She ever smoke in the restroom or make out with her boyfriend under the bleachers?"

Kim broke in, "I never smoked in the restroom -- or anywhere else!"

Shego smiled, but kept talking to Ron, "Ah, but she doesn't deny the other charge. So, how was she back in high school."

"Stop it! Now!" Kim ordered. "Not in front of the kids. And is one of you going to ask about my day or are you just going to wait and watch the news tonight?"

Ron and Shego finally about her day at Global Justice.

After dinner Ron started homework in his room and Kim and Shego took the girls to the park after cleaning the kitchen. Later, as Kim got the twins ready for bed Shego made two decaf espressos and placed a chocolate dipped biscotti on each saucer.

"I'm beat," the redhead groaned as she sank down on the couch and reached for the espresso. She took a sip and turned to Shego, "Was it serious at work today? Are you in trouble? And what did you mean, it's my fault?"

"Well, I screwed up this afternoon. I got on the internet at lunch and couldn't get off. Alice reamed me out, but I probably deserved it. She threatened to ground me from the internet if I did it again."

"I still don't see how it was my fault."

Shego grinned, "Come upstairs."

"Ah, mommy, do I hafta?" Kim whined in imitation of Sheki.

The large loft at the top of the house had become computer central. Bonnie still called the big house home and had left her college computer there, as had Monique when she moved out. Kim, and Shego had computers on the two long tables as well.

As two computers booted up Shego asked, "Ever go ego surfing?"

"Ego surfing?"

"You know, Google yourself."

"Not recently." Kim giggled, "That sounds silly, or maybe a little dirty. 'Kasy, what are you doing in the bathroom?' 'I'm Googling myself, Mom.' 'Well stop it this instant young lady'."

Shego gave her a disgusted look, "Have you done it since the Go Team Go cartoon started?"

Kim thought for a minute, "I don't think so. I'm not on the news as much since I joined Global Justice. Mostly there are a lot of old news clips about me."

Shego chuckled, "Oh, you're on it a lot more than that." She opened a web browser and typed in a URL. "You've heard of fanfiction?"

"Are those the stories geeks write where they put themselves in Star Trek episodes?"

"Bascially… There are whole websites devoted to the drek… I found this one… Here it is, Fanfiction dot net… And here we go, cartoon page…"

Kim gazed in awe, "I didn't know that many cartoons existed."

"Yeah," Shego muttered, "but look at this. More than five thousand on Go Team Go."

"Oh my gosh," Kim said, amazed. "Any of them any good?"

"Fanfiction, Kim. Think about it. That's like asking, 'Was it a good auto accident?'"

"Wait, so you got in trouble at the office because you were reading stories written about you? And that's my fault?"

"Well, since you and Ron helped Team Go several times you appear in some stories. Actually, you two appear in a hell of a lot of them."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. You and/or Ron are a recognizable sub-genre in Go Team Go cartoon fanfictions. And most of these stories seem to want and match people up. Some of the pairings are really bizarre."

"How weird are they."

"I won't tell you some of the really twisted ones… I'll let you find them for yourself." She gestured to the chair in front of the other computer. "Why don't you do a little browsing while I try to finish a couple I started this afternoon before Alice yelled at me."

But Shego didn't let Kim browse long before explaining, "I'm trying to finish this series by a writer called **Allaine**, love the stories."

"What's so great about them?"

"He clearly uses the other Shego."

"Other Shego? I'm lost."

"Well, your brothers and Wade have been putting disinformation on the web about me. There was 'good' Shego who worked with Team Go years ago - and apparently joined again on the cartoon. Then there was 'bad' Shego who copied her costume and had special gloves constructed to mimic the power of the 'good' Shego. **Allaine** writes about 'bad' Shego - oh, you hook up with her at the end."

"I guess that makes sense," Kim said slowly, "I mean, I'm living with the one who pled guilty in court. But people know you've got plasma powers."

"I don't use them that often."

Kim coughed discretely.

"Hey, poker games at the house don't count. And your brothers were cheating."

"You don't know that!"

"Get real, they never took another pot after we separated them."

"You didn't threaten Drakken when he tried to cheat."

"He had his friggin' mind reading helmet set on reverse! He was revealing his cards to us instead of reading our minds!"

"But he tried to cheat!"

"You're just sore because you found out he really doesn't like you. You're Kim Possible and you want everyone in the world to love you."

"Drop it," Kim muttered through clenched teeth, "and I wasn't thinking about poker night. I was thinking about the grocery store incident two weeks ago."

"Be fair. She was in the express lane with too many items."

"And for that you had to threaten her?"

"She should have been able to count to twelve without taking off her shoes."

"And what kind of an example were you setting for Sheki?"

"To stand up for what's right and play by the rules!"

Kim rolled her eyes in exasperation and shifted the topic back to** Allaine**, "So, anyway, this guy writes about 'bad' Shego, and that's good."

"Yeah," Shego grinned. "There are some writers have stories where 'good' Shego rejoins Team Go to help bring in 'bad' Shego. A couple guys even have stories where 'good' Shego and 'bad' Shego end up in bed… Talk about weird."

"Any stories where I end up in bed with both of you?"

Shego grinned, "The innocent girl I fell in love with has gotten kinky."

"If they're both you I'm not cheating."

"Ummm," Shego mused, "I might be willing to share you with me… I'll bet someone even has a story like that, I just haven't found it yet."

Kim managed to exact some revenge on Shego a minute later, "You remember threatening me with weird match-ups?"

"Yeah."

"I found one with you and Betty!" Kim exclaimed.

"Betty? Betty who?"

"Dr. Director."

Shego stared at Kim, "You're kidding, right?"

"No, really. _'Give Me One Reason'_ by **A Markov**. She's hurt and you're the one who is there for her."

"Kim, I'm trying to stay as far away from that woman as I can. I'm pretty sure her best case scenario for me involves whips and chains."

"That's ridiculous. I'm sure she's not into B&D… Or would that be S&M? I'm not sure what the difference is. She--"

"That isn't what I meant, Kim. She probably blames me for corrupting you or something."

"She's very tolerant… And she gets badly hurt in this story," Kim noticed as she skimmed. "Hey, we have an Agent Markov at Global Justice, and he doesn't get along with Dr. Director. You don't think…?"

Shego rolled her eyes, "He wouldn't be stupid enough to put his own name on it."

"Well, I think it's wonderful the way the story shows your softer side."

"I don't have a softer side."

"Exactly."

Shego shook her head and turned back to the computer.

Kim looked for stories that appeared to focus on Shego, "Oh, I've found a really scary story," she called a few minutes later.

"I'm not that big on horror stories."

"I didn't say horror story. I said scary."

Shego grumbled, "You're splitting hairs."

"No, check it out, _'Escapism'_ by **Eoraptor**."

"I'll look later."

"Look now, please."

As Shego found and skimmed the story Kim explained her reasoning, "It's like you don't care about your life or anything. All you want is the thrill."

"I kind of like this," Shego said softly as she skimmed the story, "been there, done that."

"You what!"

"Okay, not the motorcycle in the storm literally. But there were a couple years when it looked like I didn't have a future. I could have done this."

"Well, now you've got a family who loves and needs you. Don't you dare do anything stupid like that again."

"Says the thrill junkie."

"I'm not a…" Kim denied the charge in her mind, but knew she couldn't win an argument on the subject, so she shut her mouth and let Shego return to reading as she returned to browsing through summaries.

Kim chuckled and bookmarked a story, _'Monkey Chi, Monkey Du'_ by a writer called **Gray Cardinal** on the strength of the summary, "Will Du's personality is more wooden than usual." She felt certain such a thing was impossible, but would look it over.

Something puzzled Kim in the summaries of many stories in which she appeared. "I'm with Ron in a lot of these, aren't I?"

"Yeah," Shego agreed, "what's your point?"

"I mean, I don't know… It just seems a little odd."

"Ah, that's where you're wrong, Princess. You and Ron? You two were always seen together for years. You go together - like chocolate and peanut butter, or hot dogs and mustard, or an 'eighty-seven Yugo and bald tires. To most people the two of you make more sense than the two of us. Hell, most people in town figure Ron is the father of the girls."

"Helped by the fact Kasy always calls him Daddy."

Shego laughed. "Bonnie wants her to stop that. Oh, don't know if you've heard this, but some people figure Ron is sleeping with both of us."

"Really?"

"Really. I've heard there's a rumor going around that Sheki is my daughter by Ron."

Kim shook her head in amazement, "So when he gets this next degree and moves out--"

"Oh, yeah. Like that will happen," Shego scoffed.

"He says this will be his last Bachelor's."

"That probably means he'll start a graduate program in one of those fields."

"No, he's going to marry Bonnie and move to be with her. We'll be losing him."

"Have they set a date?"

"No," Kim admitted.

"No wedding without a date. He's stalling for time - stringing her along."

"You're impossible. They're going to get married and live happily ever after." Kim sighed, "Our little boy has become a man." She was silent for about fifteen seconds. "Do you think everyone will figure out we're a couple when he leaves?"

Shego's lips twitched in a half smile, "Nah. I mean there enough stories with us together to show some people already get it. But most people still won't believe we're a couple. They shall look upon us as two lonely spinsters, living in our separate bedrooms - heartbroken by the loss of the man we both loved."

"You're absolutely impossible," Kim mumbled.

"Oh, here's a story that's supposed to be about us," Kim called a couple minutes later, "it's by someone called **Zaratan** and titled, _'Life's Strange Turns'_."

"Is it any good?"

"I'll check." Kim glanced quickly through the story. A couple minutes later she muttered, "Huh?" and went to the writer's profile page. "Apparently stories have the word 'complete' by them if they're finished."

"Yeah."

"Our Mr. **Zaratan** apparently finds it easier to start stories than finish them."

"Well, was the story any good?"

"I'm not sure. I still hated your guts in the last chapter he wrote."

"At least that's sort of true to life."

"Yeah, but there were people I never heard of in it, and Global Justice arranged an amnesty for you because you were willing to work for them."

"I can't see that happening," Shego scoffed.

"I don't think she hates you nearly as much as you think."

"You're probably right - but I don't think she possibly could."

Kim went back to skimming through screens of story summaries as Shego did more reading. "Do women write any of this stuff?" Kim wondered.

"Probably some. I think most of them are men. Sometimes they rub the fact it's a male writer in your face."

"Eww, that sounds disgusting."

"Usually. Want an example?"

"Sure."

"Read a story this afternoon, _'Hard Times',_ by **Saffron Majesty**. "You and I have sex--"

"I'm in favor of that."

"He turns you into a guy, probably 'cause he has no idea how two women make love."

"He what!"

"Turns you into a guy. Just for the story. I'm hot. You can't keep your hands - or anything else - off of me."

"I'm not going to look at that."

"Just as well, in the sequel, _'Bleak House',_ I'm mean and you're stupid. Or, if you want another example or a writer who has to be a guy, found a story this afternoon,_ 'Maternal Instinct'_ by **Blackbird**. I get pregnant from a shot in the arm."

Kim's jaw dropped open in amazement, "A shot in the _arm_?"

"Swear to God. You wonder if his school had health class or his parents home schooled him. I'm guessing he's not married."

Kim giggled, "Imagine him and his wife trying to conceive a baby."

"Hey, if she's got any kind of maternal instinct she'll explain the birds and bees to him."

Shego gave on finishing the stories by Allaine, too much conversation with Kim to focus, and skimmed through some summaries on her own, stopping to look at stories that sounded especially interesting. "Here's a story, _'In the Middle'_, by someone named **Starvinglunatic** that has you shacked up with both Bonnie and me," Shego called to Kim.

"Bonnie's in a story?"

"Yeah, some of the writers do a little bit of research on our lives."

"Not much if they've got a 'phob like Bonnie in bed with the two of us."

"Bonnie's cute. You've really never pictured her in bed with the two of us?" Shego didn't notice if Kim answered. Shego had gone to** Starvinglunatic**'s profile page and looked at the stories listed. "Oh, here's one,_ 'Goh Forth and Conquer'_ where I get Bonnie all to myself." Shego scanned it quickly. "Ron gets you in this one."

When Kim said nothing in response the green woman looked over. Kim had her fingers stuck in her ears.

"What's wrong, Princess?"

"I don't like it when you tease me about Bonnie."

"You don't like being teased about Bonnie because you really are attracted to her?"

"SHEGO!"

Shego's voice lost the teasing tone, "Seriously, that upset you a lot. Care to explain?"

Kim stared vacantly at the computer screen in front of her for several seconds before answering. "I don't know… Sometimes I have some weird feelings for Bonnie…"

"Weird feelings?" Shego classified the sudden pain in her own stomach at Kim's words as a weird feeling.

"Weird, inappropriate, whatever. I know she's a 'phob, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have her in bed…" Kim looked over to Shego, "I mean, I wouldn't… I wouldn't cheat on you. But sometimes, I guess, I think about Bonnie. It's weird, she was my worst enemy in high school, but during college she became one of my best friends… Maybe that's why I feel kind of confused."

Shego tried to find words that could help both of them, "Well, I won't let you call her your worst enemy. I'm saving that title for me."

"No," Kim interrupted with a giggle, "you were my best enemy."

Shego laughed, "Okay, I was the best. But seriously, Bonnie was around a lot during the time you realized you liked girls better than guys. And you ended up falling in love with your best enemy… I mean, it's kind of natural for you to have mixed feelings about her. And she's hot."

"It isn't fair to you."

"Cut you a deal, I'll let you look but not touch if you let me look but not touch."

"Isn't that lusting in our hearts or something?"

"So the woman lusting after Bonnie is going moral on me?"

"I'm not lusting after Bonnie. I just said I sometimes have weird feelings about her."

"Look, it's okay. Sometimes I find other people attractive--"

"WHAT!"

"Shhh, not so loud, the girls are asleep. It's pronounced 'normal'. It doesn't mean I'd cheat on you. It just means I'm not blind."

"Do the other people you find attractive include guys?"

Shego changed the subject by going on the offense, "I wonder if your weird feelings about Bonnie are because she's taking Ron away from you."

"She's not taking Ron away from me! I want Ron to be happy!"

"I don'no. You and Ron have been together twenty years. I think you're jealous."

"Can we drop Bonnie, please?"

Shego was happy to oblige, "You were asking if women wrote these things, I think the Lunatic may be woman."

"What makes you think **Starvinglunatic** is a woman? Does she get the sex right?"

"Well, I think it's better. No, you know I hate stereotyping but, as a general rule, I think women are better with sensory images than men. I feel like the Lunatic's stories are richer with images a woman would notice."

Kim found a summary that sounded interesting. After wading through author's notes that took up almost half the story she finally struck plot.

"Ahhh, this one is cute."

"What one?"

"_'When Sleepwalking Goes Wrong'_, by… any idea how to pronounce **F-f-o-r-d-e-s-o-o-n**?"

"Pretty sure the first 'f' is silent."

"Thanks lots," Kim said dryly. "Bad Shego is sleepwalking and ends up in bed with me."

"I sleepwalk from God knows where to your house and crawl into bed with you?"

"I must be irresistible to you. You can't live without me and are drawn to me like a moth to a flame."

"That's stupid," Shego grumbled.

"It's adorable," Kim giggled. "And I am smitten with your surprising charm -- and the fact you are the most wonderfully warm cuddle toy on earth."

"It's still stupid."

"Umm, I do love snuggling with you on a cold winter morning."

"And in the summer?"

"Those separate bedrooms you mentioned sound good. Don't you have some way to adjust your thermostat?"

"You found a switch on me yet?"

"No, but I'll look again."

"Ohmygosh!" Kim exclaimed as she scanned a profile page.

"Ohmygosh, what?" Shego demanded.

"Over one hundred stories…" she scrolled down, "A hundred and ten stories, most seem to be with Ron and me."

"A hundred and ten?"

"Seriously."

"Bookmark the page. I'll bet it's a hundred and eleven before the night is over."

"Some writer called **CaptainKodak1**--"

"Got to be a guy."

"The rank, right? GeneralEducation, MajorDisaster, ColonelCorn they'd all be guys."

"Right. I think CorporalPunishment would be as low in rank as a man would go."

"So if I see a PrivateConcern?"

"Umm, run a search. You won't find any privates."

_"I'm not going to touch that line."_ "And if I do?" Kim asked.

"Woman, probably."

Kim giggled, "Or a guy with low self-esteem."

"Anything special about the good Captain and his hundred and ten stories?"

Kim examined the list, "Well, most of them are one chapter and the word 'complete' doesn't appear very often… But this figure, number of reviews, seems higher than I remember seeing."

"It means he's popular."

"He misspelled Monkeyfist's real name."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, he has a story _'I am Monkeyfist,'_ where he has the name down as Milton… Doesn't even have a thousand words."

"You don't write a hundred and ten epics," Shego commented. "Still, a hundred and ten? He's a candidate for the Please Please Pleese Get a Life Foundation."

A little while later Kim requested, "Go ask Ron to come up here."

"Why?"

"I found one that will gross him out."

"How?"

"The pairing."

"Who they have him paired with, or Bonnie paired with?"

"Can you stop asking questions and call him, please? I want to see him turn green. Remember I just mentioned Monkeyfist? I found a story that pairs him with Ron!"

"By your CaptainPolaroid?"

"No. Now, pweeeze?" Kim summoned a puppy dog pout that hit an eight on the Richter Scale and Shego's defenses crumpled. "I'll let you watch his expression too," she promised.

"Okay," Shego grumbled. As the green woman slid her chair back to stand up Kim suddenly turned a bilious shade of green and clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from throwing up. Shego was at her side instantly, "You okay?"

Kim wasn't okay, she moved the mouse and hit 'home' before trying to regain her composure. "_'The Gift'_," she gasped, "by **Beeftony**… Has me paired with Drakken."

Shego gently patted Kim's back until she calmed down. "Why would anyone write a story like that?" the redhead demanded.

"Shock value," Shego explained. "Don't read any more stories by** Beeftony**. Shego wondered if she should have warned Kim against Beeftony, who had stories more disturbing than _'The Gift'_, but Shego had worried that warning Kim would only make her more curious.

"There ought to be a law against shock value, or at least some sort of warning," Kim complained as she prepared to plunge again into the depths of FFN."

"Some people like shock. And some people make situations bad to increase the intensity of the drama--"

"Who wants to make stories more unpleasant than real life?"

"Do you see that little 'forum' link at the top of the screen?"

Kim looked quickly, "Yep. What's that about?"

"It's not enough for some people to write this stuff, or other people to read it. Some of them want to talk about it too. Anyway, when I looked around there I saw a lot of talk about a story called _'Kim Possible: Mind, Body, and Soul'_ by a **hobnob-rev** that must have a lot of violence."

"Must have? You didn't look"

"I did a search, found the writer's profile. It's got, like, four hundred and fifty thousand words!"

"Eep! Four hundred and fifty thousand?"

"A little more, and more than six hundred reviews. Reviews usually indicate popularity. I didn't even start it, just sort of put in on my list of things to do if I ever have a year off."

"That one could take six months by itself."

"Yeah," Shego agreed. "But, getting back to the point. From the talk about it in the forums I gather it's got some pretty graphic torture. Another thing that discouraged me from reading it was the fact people talked more about the villain than about us."

"About the villain? Drakken? Electronique?"

"Some sociopath named Kara Fang."

"Kara Fang? Never heard of him."

Shego rolled her eyes, "It's fiction. And Kara Fang is a woman." Shego continued her literature lesson, "Now, besides shock value and dramatic intensity throwing all kinds of nasty shit at your characters can also provide catharsis."

"Catharsis?"

Shego sighed, "You really shouldn't have blown off your freshman year that way."

"I was young and madly in love. I blame her for distracting me."

"I happen to know she wanted you to do well in college."

"Definitely her fault."

"That's it," the green woman grumbled, "when all else fails blame the innocent victim."

"You? Innocent?"

"Catharsis," Shego continued firmly, "emotionally cleansing. If you look up stories by **cpneb** you'll find your friends and family tortured, blinded, killed, or crippled."

"Eeeew, that's depressing. Sounds as bad as Beeftony."

"Yeah, but it's not shock, it's pronounced angst and some people actually enjoy it. Makes their own lives seem so much better in comparison."

"I still think I'll pass."

"Okay, but the stories are really well written. He or she packs an emotional wallop - might be the only Go Team Go writer to understand catharsis."

"He or she? No clear indicators?"

"Told you I don't like stereotyping. The emotional details and attention to what people wear suggests **cpneb** is a woman, but the way **cpneb** describes the boobs on the women argues for a guy."

Kim shook her head and turned back to the screen, "Another half hour and I'm going to bed."

About five minutes later Kim's jaw dropped, "This _'Eastbound and Down,'_ by some guy called **FAH3** has you and Ron together at the end!"

"Yeah, I found several like that this afternoon."

"You, and Ron?"

"There are a lot of girls you find him attractive, in his own clueless sort of way."

"You, and Ron!"

"Ohhh, I think you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous!"

"And then there're the stories where Ron is some sort of super stud."

Kim giggled, "Super stud?"

"Near as I can tell it was the only reason some people figured you could put up with him."

"No one realized he's, like, really a sweet guy?"

"Oh, yeah. He's that in some stories too. In _'The Dark Angel Series'_ by **Aedan Cameron** every girl in town thinks he's great. Every girl but you. Guess who gets him?"

"Bonnie?" Shego shook her head 'no'. "Tara? Zita?"

"Nope, me again. Or there's 'Ttakepa' by **JohathonWolf** - nice piece of fantasy, really nothing to do with our lives. Ron goes through this portal to another world first, so that by the time I get there he's a couple years older than me and--"

"Time," Kim called. "It's a fantasy that has nothing to do with the lives of Team Go whatsoever, but it uses you and Ron?"

"Yeah, it's AU instead of crossover."

"AU? Don't go into 'Nique Speak on me."

"AU, alternative universe. Everyone can read minds, or we live underwater, or I'm the only person in the world who isn't green sorts of things. It's some world which isn't like ours."

"What does any of that have to do with the cartoon show?"

"Hell if I know," Shego confessed. "I'm not sure if they like us as characters and just want to throw us in an unusual setting or if the writers think they have a good idea and hope more people will read it if they stick in established characters and put it in a popular series. Anyway_ 'Ttakep'_ must be about the bad Shego. She's a little hostile to Ron when she first gets there, but his quiet charm--"

"I'm getting just a little tired of stories with you and Ron!"

"Tired or jealous?" Shego smirked.

"Do you find him attractive," Kim shot back.

It was the green woman's turn to be silent for a minute. "Yeah, I guess I do," Shego admitted. "I think it's normal. He's a great guy and I've been living under the same roof with him for years. But that doesn't mean I'd leave the mother of my kids and run away with him."

"That's all I am? The mother of your kids?"

"The woman I love! I meant the woman I love!"

Shego felt grateful when Kim switched the topic back to genre, "You said something about crossovers? That's different from an AU?"

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I've got a crossover where Ron beats me up. Or maybe it isn't a crossover… Maybe it's a parody,_ 'Shegowocky'_ by **Pharaoh Rutin Tutin**."

"'Shegowocky'? Sounds like a play on the poem Jabberwocky."

"Exactly, classic source material. It can almost make you forget he took his name from a Three Stooges routine."

"And with a name from a Three Stooges routine we know it had to be a guy - right?"

"Right."

Kim pointed out, "I'm still waiting on your definition of crossovers and AU stories."

"Look, I'm not an expert. I don't think there's a clear line between AU and crossover. There are some which are clearly one or the other, but then there's a huge chunk of gray in between."

"Can you give me an example?"

"Yeah, I just mentioned a clear AU. There was a story I hated--"

"Badly written?"

"Depends on what you mean. It's written in good English, but has serious plot problems. Still, great example of a clear crossover, _"The Next Contestant,"_ by **Ran Hakubi**, a crossover with the TV show The Price Is Right.

"A crossover with a game show?"

"I told you I didn't like it."

"Was Vanna White in it?"

"She's on Wheel of Fortune I think… Or was. I haven't watched in years. The two big problems were that it was Global Justice day on the show - but all the contestants were your friends and family - and there was no conflict. I kept going from chapter to chapter thinking at some point conflict would have to be introduced - zilch."

"It's got to have a fight to be good?"

"Conflict doesn't have to be a fight. A story needs _something_ for dramatic tension. The host would call someone you knew down, she'd win. Everyone was so perfect it was disgusting. Except Will Du; he was comedy relief."

"They should have had him on as a cure for insomnia." Kim continued as Shego laughed, "Let me make sure I have it straight, I say 'Let's jump in bed together,' and you say, 'No,' it makes a story. You say, 'Yes,' and there's no story?"

"Exactly so," Shego agreed. "I say 'no' and you have to discover my motivation and resolve the conflict. You overcome all the obstacles the plot throws in your way and finally you have your reward -- me. I say 'yes' and there's no plot - it's not a story."

Kim giggled, "It could be pornography. That doesn't need a plot."

Shego shook her head sadly, and Kim continued, "It sounds like AU and crossovers should be clear enough."

"Easier to say in theory than practice. You up for a good story where you end up with Ron?"

"After the way you've been telling me how great he is? Maybe I'll go straight and try to steal him away from Bonnie."

"Yeah, sure," Shego scoffed. "No, it's one of the good stories, I think the title was _'Ronicus ad Porta'_ by **Mr. Oz** or something like that. Anyway, it's set back in the Roman Republic and has some historical characters in it. So, is it a crossover with history or an AU?"

"I, uh, don't know."

"Yeah, I'm not sure either. But that's one of the fun ones. You and Ron are both really yourselves even two thousand years ago and you end up married to each other."

"Are you in it?"

"I'm a witch."

"Talk about type casting."

"Hey, I happen to think I'm the smartest person in the story. Or second smartest, after you. Ron fights beside the Masked Warrior for months without ever figuring out it's you."

"Masked Warrior?"

"Yeah, you change costumes in ancient Roman phone booths and have a warrior cave under your mansion."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Check it out and see, it really is fun."

As Shego used the search feature in vain to find if Mr. Oz had more stories Kim called, "I think I found one of the ones where Ron is a super stud."

"I told you they were out there. Every girl in Middleton?"

"No, just Yori and me, together with him--"

"At the same time?"

"Yeah,_ 'Every Ron's Dream'_, by** Whitem**."

"And what can we tell about the writer called **Whitem** from this story?" Shego demanded.

Kim giggled, "Another guy. Probably with fantasies of two girls in bed with him."

As Kim read and commented at the other computer Shego began reading _'A Good Time for Extra Training'_ by **Ghostwhiter**. She found it eerie and disturbing how much she identified with it. She'd never had a house in the country, but the loneliness and isolation she remembered only too well. She could recall the borderline paranoia when she was on the run, the sense of panic the slightest unexpected noise could instill in her...

She was so engrossed in the story she almost screamed in terror when Kim's fingers softly stroked her cheek, "You coming to bed or do I need to resolve some conflict to get my reward?"

Shego wondered why she hadn't heard Kim's approach, and quickly closed the screen.

"What did you do that for," Kim demanded. "I wasn't reading over your shoulder."

"I was done."

"No you weren't! Was that porn?"

"No, I--"

"'Cause it's okay if it was -- as long as you were looking for new ideas for us… You're crying!"

"My eyes are tired. Too much staring at computer screens all day. You're right -- I need to go to bed."

Kim stood behind Shego's chair as the older woman shut the computer down. Shego stretched as she stood then told Kim, "I really need a hug."

"Are you okay," Kim asked as Shego embraced her with almost desperate longing.

"You saved my life. I love you."

"I saved your life? I remember you saving mine… When did I save yours?"

"Metaphorically," Shego murmured, squeezing her lover tightly, "metaphorically."

"Metaphorically? That counts?"

"Absolutely," Shego assured her, not relaxing the embrace. "If it weren't for you I'd have no life."

"Even if it means being my vewy own widdle cuddle toy?" Shego said nothing, but Kim could feel the green woman's chuckle as they held each other. "Are you okay," Kim asked softly, "the baby talk usually annoys you."

"I love you, Kim."

"I love you too. And I want us to go to bed now literally, not metaphorically."

"Sweet talk like that will turn a girl's head," Shego said, grinning. She released Kim from the embrace, but held the younger woman's hand as the two headed for the stairs to their bedroom.

--The End--

**A/N In regard to the Please Please Pleese Get a Life Foundation…  
**A. You'd not heard of it, noticed third please and thought it was an error.  
B. You'd not heard of it, and didn't even notice the third please.  
C. You remembered the cartoon (even if you forgot that gag).


End file.
